Definitive Definitions

A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
“a word of wisdom”

The name we give to our mistakes.
Oscar Wide

A comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire

An organized way of going wrong with confidence.
Ketterling's Law

A tax on people who are bad at math.
John Keister, of Seattle's “Almost Live!” comedy show

The only adventure open to the cowardly.
Voltaire

Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
anonimous